Why Women Cheat And what To Do About It

I got an email the other day from an awesome reader of my blog that inspired me to write about this topic… He told me that he’s been with a woman for about 1.5 years now and that he recently read all my blog post for the second time to make sure he’s still doing everything right with her. 

Smart Man… And his question for me was about how much attention you should give your girlfriend or wife. 

Here’s his situation: He’s a busy guy and his girlfriend has been complaining that she wants to spend more time with him. Now, honestly, this is what I call a “high-quality problem” because it mostly just means that her interest in him is SUPER HIGH. And that’s a good thing… On the other hand, this could become a problem if it’s not addressed.  Because, as you know if you’ve read blog post always,

POSITIVE ATTENTION is one of the four things you must give a woman if you want to keep her in love with you long-term Click To Tweet

In fact, in a recent poll of American and European women, the NUMBER ONE reason why women thought about cheating or actually cheated on their partner was, “My partner stopped paying attention to me…”

Now, here’s the thing about this: “Her partner not paying attention to her” is the reason she understands…

What’s really happening there is that she has LOW INTEREST LEVEL in her man because he stopped paying attention to her, which caused her interest level to fall over time.

LOW INTEREST LEVEL is the real, underlying cause.

And, in reality, there are only 3 reasons why women cheat. Click To Tweet

So, let’s break down all 3 reasons and what you can do about each of them.

That way, you’ll never have to worry about the devastating punch to the gut that comes when you walk in on your woman with your best friend or when you see racy text messages from her to the mailman, the young bartender on your block, or her personal trainer. Or, if it’s really bad, all three of those guys. =)

Why Women Cheat (and what to do about it)…

 A woman cheats on a man for the following 3 reasons: 

1. She is disloyal in general…

Listen, there are some women out there who can cheat on you even if you do everything right. Why? Usually because of some kind of trauma they suffered early on in life. And they will hurt you even if they don’t mean to. And how can you prevent a woman like this from cheating on you? You can’t.

 So what can you do about it? Well, here’s the thing: A woman like this will generally let you know that she’s like this somehow in the early stages of dating. For example, she’ll mention that she cheated on her last boyfriend. Or that she had an affair that ruined a previous marriage. Or that she’s cheated on every boyfriend she’s ever had.

 And what usually happens is this: Because the man’s interest in her is so high, he IGNORES these red flags and finds a way to rationalize them. He thinks things will be different with him (they won’t). 

So what you want to do instead is watch out for these red flags and pay attention to them. If she cheated before, odds are very high that she’ll do it again no matter how awesome you are (unless she’s been actively working on herself and her issues and also tells you all about that).

So, when you discover that she's not capable of being a loyal woman, stop dating her no matter how much you like her. Click To Tweet

And make sure you wait at least 2 years before you marry a woman to make sure you know what you’re getting into; by then you’ll have a pretty good idea whether she’s a loyal woman or not. And, of course, if she cheats on you at any point, divorce her or break up with her… Being with a disloyal woman is never worth all the pain and suffering it causes. And, if you don’t pay attention to red flags and then filter a woman OUT when she lets you know she’s disloyal, that’s on you.


Listen, “commitment” or a marriage contract DO NOT (cannot) protect you from adultery… Neither does “doing everything for her…

The only thing that really gives you "adultery insurance" is a woman's real feelings for you Click To Tweet

In other words, her interest level. If you raise her interest in you high enough to begin with and then keep it there, she won’t cheat on you (assuming she’s relatively psychologically stable).

In fact, it’s impossible for a psychologically stable woman to cheat on a man if she’s actually deeply in love with him (see the ONE exception to this law in #3 below).

So, when you meet a woman who IS loyal, make sure you do everything right with her to raise and then maintain her real feelings for you. Again, that’s really the only thing that can truly prevent a woman from straying. 

And, by the way,

one of the things you MUST give a woman to maintain her interest in you once she’s already deeply in love with you is POSITIVE ATTENTION as we talked about before.  

But it’s not the only thing; you MUST also give her respect, positive humor, and support/teamwork.  

The point is this: If a woman’s interest in you drops OR you didn’t raise it high enough to begin with, no amount of “communication,” “commitment,” or couples therapy can guarantee that she won’t hook up with someone else. So make sure you choose a loyal woman and then do everything required to keep her feelings for you sky-high

3. She wants to get REVENGE on you… 

The ONLY way a loyal woman who is deeply in love with you can cheat on you is if you cheat on her first. So, if you find a good woman and you manage to make her fall deeply in love with you, don’t cheat on her if you want her to stay loyal to you also. 

While the pain of a woman cheating on you can be almost unbearable, the truth is that it can be prevented most of the time. It really is this simple.

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