I hear several things from guys all around the world on this. Example: “I asked a woman out for Sunday and I asked her what time works for her…she responded with ‘I’m not sure yet…’ What should I do?” OR “I asked a woman when we can meet up and she said she’d get back to me…What’s my next move?” Etc. Well, let’s go ahead and eliminate this mistake from your dating life right now. And from now on, you never have to deal with the fallout from it ever again…
STOP making this critical mistake:The #1 rule of asking women out.
From now on, DO NOT ask a woman: -Where she would like to go on a date (if she mentions a place she likes to go while you’re talking with her at any point, you can take her there on the next date if you want, but do not ask her to suggest a place)… -When she’s available… And don’t ask her when you can see her again or say something like, “Hey, we should do this again…” Instead, just: Say something like, “Nice meeting you tonight Allison…” OR, “Thanks for the fun time Allison…” after your first conversation/date with her and then say goodbye and walk away…
Wait 4-8 days after each date you go on with her or your first conversation with her and then… Choose a specific day, time, and activity/location and then invite her to join you: “Hey, let’s meet at Wine Bar X for happy hour on Wednesday at 6…” “Wanna meet me for coffee tomorrow night at 7:30 pm? Stardollars on State Street.” “Let’s go out for some delicious Mexican food on Thursday night! Los Gauchos is my favorite and I want to take you there. I’ll come pick you up at 6:30…(offer to pick her up for your second date unless you live in a city where everyone takes public transportation/walks).” “There’s an awesome event downtown at X location on Tuesday night. Meet me there at 7?” Etc.ALWAYS just CHOOSE a specific day, time, and activity and then ask her to join you Click To Tweet
That way, when she responds, it’s a CLEAR yes or no. And here’s the thing: If she can’t make the day/time you offer her and she IS interested in you, she will suggest another time that DOES work for her: “I’d love to but I’m busy on Wednesday…can we do it on Thursday at 7 instead? =)” And, if she doesn’t like the activity you offer her, she’ll come up with an alternative: “I’m honestly not a big fan of Mexican food…can we do Thai instead?” Etc.If she's NOT interested in you, she'll decline your invitation, say something vague like, "let's do it some other time…," or tie up your time by saying something like, "I'll get back to you later…" Click To Tweet
And she WILL NOT offer you a SPECIFIC alternative day/time/activity. The way a woman responds to your date invite is a very good test of female interest; but only if you make a CLEAR, SPECIFIC offer. The main point is this: YOU choose the day, time, and activity and then ask her to join you. Then, if she has a better idea or offers you another day that works better for her, work with her on it and adjust from there.LEAD FIRST; then be flexible if she offers you a SPECIFIC alternative to what you offered her. Click To Tweet
(And if she declines your offer or says something vague like, “Let’s do it some other time…” then assume she’s not interested in you and move on to the next woman). I mean, when you send birthday party invitations or Facebook event invites to your friends do they say: “Hey guys, I’m having a birthday party on Sunday…any time or place that works for you…?” No, you plan the birthday party and then invite everyone like this (or, if you don’t do it like this, you should from now on): “Hey guys, I’m having a birthday party on Sunday at McTarnahan’s at 1 pm. Can you make it?” The ones who can come will come and the ones who can’t won’t. Well, it’s the same thing when you ask a woman out: YOU plan everything and then invite her. Then, you see how she responds and adjust from there.
Don’t ask her to take the lead…that’s your job in this dance.
Also, again, when you’re CLEAR when you ask her out, you get a CLEAR reading on her interest in you… If she says she can’t make it at the time you offer and she DOES NOT offer you a SPECIFIC other time that does work for her, then assume she’s not interested in you and move on. If she accepts your date invite and actually shows up for the date or offers you a specific alternative day, time, and/or activity, proceed normally from there.
Remember: Always lead; never chase. So, whenever you ask a woman out, choose a day, time, and activity that YOU think would be great. Just ask her to join you. And then if she declines or doesn’t offer you a SPECIFIC alternative, don’t chase her. Dont continuing to ask her out. Forget about her and move on OR wait 4-8 days and ask her out ONE more time. Then, if she declines without offering you a specific alternative a second time, it’s definitely time to move on. This no matter how much you like her or how good-looking she is…Run a tight ship when you ask a woman out so we can figure out what's really going on with her as quickly as possible instead of wasting time, energy, money, and emotions on women who simply aren't interested. Click To Tweet
LEAD and be crystal clear with your date offers so the women who ARE interested in you fall in love with your ability to lead (this also shows that you have the courage to put your ideas out there. And reacting well if she has a different idea shows that you’re also very confident and secure) and so you filter OUT women who aren’t interested in you at the same time.
When you’re clear and specific, you always win….and, when you’re not, you always make things harder for yourself. These kinds of things might seem small; however, when it comes to your dating success, they’re HUGE. =)
So, from now on, when you ask a woman out just choose a day and time that work well for you. Choose an activity that YOU think will be fun for both of you, and then ask her to join you.