Wouldn’t it be nice if we just automatically did the right thing with women all the time? Or if we didn’t have to learn this stuff because it was just “programmed” into us at birth? I think we’d all like to be more of a “natural” with women… And guess what?
You can become a “natural” with women at any age.
We can’t go back and re-program you from birth. We absolutely can make attractive behaviors and relationship skills more automatic for you and make them feel more natural to you starting right now.
So, I’m going to reveal the 3 biggest keys to becoming a natural with women so that attractive behaviors feel like part of your normal personality from now on. You can get better results with less effort, and so you don’t have to feel like you’re “tricking” anyone when you’re out there dating.There's no such thing as a "natural" if you mean a guy who's just "born with" attraction and relationship skills… Click To Tweet
I mean, I’ve never seen a little tiny newborn baby boy seduce a playmate…have you? =)
Seriously though, the guys you might think of as “naturals” just learned attractive behaviors and good relationship skills at an earlier age.
Listen, Mozart’s father was a musician who made him start playing the piano almost immediately after he was born… Tiger Woods already had years of experience playing golf, including an appearance playing golf on TV. And he started playing in junior golf tournaments (the time when most people start playing for the first time)… And Frank Sinatra trained his voice to sound good by swimming . He holds his breath underwater on a regular basis for years (it was nothing special before that)… …the point is that you have to LEARN these skills…
And, again, that means that anyone can BECOME a “natural” with women at any age. I know this is true . I’ve personally witnessed more than one man in their 80’s change the way they relate to women. <==This has been extremely inspiring for me, between… So, what does it really mean when a guy says they want to become a natural with women?
Three main things:
1. They don’t want to pretend to be someone they’re not or change their personality just to attract women… 2. They don’t want to “play games,” manipulate anyone, trick anyone, or lie to women… 3. They want attractive behaviors to become “automatic” for them or “just part of who they are” …
And, because these are all valid reasons to want to become a natural with women . Many guys ask me how they can become a natural with women, I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, I’ve come up with a lot of ideas, and I’ve tested these ideas over and over again with myself and my clients out in the real world over the years to see how a guy can actually become what we might call a “natural” with women… And what I came up with are the 3 biggest keys to becoming a natural. So, what are those 3 keys and how you can start applying them right now? Glad you asked…
The 3 Keys to becoming a NATURAL with women…
Here are the three keys to becoming a natural with women that I’ve discovered over the years:
Key #1: Understand that you are whole and complete on your own… There’s a dangerous myth out there that a man and a woman “complete” each other and that when they get married, two become one. Well, that’s simply not true…
The truth is that every human being, including you, is whole and complete all on their own, exactly as they are right now. No woman can complete you, even if they want to, and if you’re seeking completion from a woman then you’re running down the wrong path…A healthy relationship involves two whole and complete beings creating something new together. Click To Tweet
Two become THREE; not one. And, if you understand and accept that you are whole and complete all on your own exactly as you are now and that a woman DOES NOT complete you instead of seeking completion through a woman if you’re doing that now… Then you can stop seeking that completion because you already have it. And, when you stop seeking completion outside yourself, you automatically become less needy and more naturally attractive. Also, as a major side-benefit, your relationships get much healthier by default as well.
Simply acknowledging the truth that nothing is missing, and it never has been, if you haven’t already, is a HUGE win in terms of both dating and relationships. It allows you to relax and focus on finding an awesome person to share your life with vs. anxiously seeking someone to fill some kind of void inside yourself.
I don’t have to tell you which one of these is the healthier, more naturally attractive path… Or which one allows you to take your time and be a challenge with women more easily vs. rushing head-first into rejection… Or which one leads to choosing the right woman for you vs. settling for whatever you can get right now…
And that also leads nicely into the second key:
Key #2: Create a life you love whether any particular woman is with you or not… If you’re looking for a woman to make your life awesome, then you’re running down the wrong path. On the other hand, if you’re actively creating a life you LOVE living and then you want to share your awesome life with a woman and bring her into it, then you’re on the right path.
And you’re much more naturally attractive because a man who loves his life will behave in attractive ways a lot more often by default than a man who doesn’t. See, a woman can’t make you happy, even if she wants to, no matter how awesome she is… Only YOU can make yourself happy. <==You probably already know this; it’s a cliche because it’s true… So, do more things you enjoy and cut out things you don’t.Lead yourself into the kind of life you want to live FIRST and then seek to share that life that you're creating with a woman who deserves to be there with you. Click To Tweet
And, when you ask a woman out, reflect this way of life: “Hey, I’m going to X on Thursday at 7pm…you should join me.” <==When you imply that you’re going to do something whether she wants to come or not, it’s much more powerful (and naturally attractive) than if you try to find a date that might impress her. Especially if you really do want to do that activity no matter what and you’re not just asking her out this way because I recommended to do it this way. =)
Also, make sure you practice expressing genuine gratitude for what’s going well in your life on a regular basis AND take consistent action in pursuit of your deepest, truest desires at the same time.
<==Studies show this is the only way to increase your long-term, permanent level of happiness from your current set-point. Now listen, the WRONG woman can make your life miserable… And, the RIGHT woman can make your life much better…if you don't already have a solid foundation to stand on that you've created for yourself when you meet a woman, you're going to come across as needy at some point whether you want to or not Click To Tweet
On the other hand, if you truly love the life you’re building when you meet a woman you will automatically be less needy with her = more naturally attractive. So, for the sake of this one life you have to live AND for the sake of your dating life, make sure you’re living life the way YOU want to live it vs. how everyone else thinks you should.
Because, when you live that way, your behaviors will be more attractive to women by default, you’ll be able to attract the right woman for you more easily, AND you’ll be able to create stronger, healthier connections with women (and everyone else). Here’s a great example of how this might play out in real life: I recommend waiting 4-8 days after each date you go on with a woman before you ask her out again… Why?a woman's interest in you goes up THE MOST in-between dates when she's thinking about you and wondering what your next move will be, not when you're actually with her Click To Tweet
And a successful guy who loves his life and who has several good options in terms of women he can be with would do this naturally…
If you’re truly enjoying your life, you won’t have to “play games” to wait 4-8 days to ask a woman out again, even if she’s amazing.You’ll be so immersed in living your awesome life that it will genuinely take several days before you can ask her out again.
Make sense? Awesome. And that’s just one example. Living the life you really want to live is the best thing for you AND for your dating life and relationships. So, whatever you might be holding back on at the moment, kick it into a higher gear starting today.
Let your example inspire us all (especially attractive women)… And then, seek only to share your awesome life with a woman who deserves it because she’s a good human. <==This approach is much more successful than seeking a woman to make your life okay. And now that you have a solid foundation supporting you, let’s talk about the third key:
Key #3: PRACTICE attractive behaviors and relationship skills until they become second nature… Honestly, this is the biggest one. I mean, would shooting a basketball or playing the piano feel natural to you if you’ve never done it before? Of course not. Just try brushing your teeth with the other hand one morning and see how difficult it is… You are not “born with” brushing teeth skills, basketball skills, piano skills, or dating and relationship skills. Listen, attracting a woman and creating a good relationship with her are SKILLS…
So, you have to become aware of how to do everything correctly and then PRACTICE doing things the correct way over and over again until you can do it without thinking about it.
Just like a high free-throw percentage requires shooting thousands of free-throws, making dating skills automatic takes PRACTICE. And, by the way, when we learn these skills, we ARE NOT trying to change who you are… I mean, if you get tennis lessons to get better at tennis, does that change who you are at a fundamental level? No. And neither does learning dating and relationship skills.
We are simply modifying your behavior in specific contexts so you can be more successful with women.We are not suggesting that you should pretend to be someone that you’re not.Most attractive behaviors require you to be MORE of who you really are. Click To Tweet
Now, some of them will be new and some of them will go against what society, our families, our friends, and other well-meaning but misguided people tells us we should do… So don’t worry about these new skills not feeling natural for a while. Because they will probably NOT feel natural at first. They will become natural as you make these behaviors your HABITS.And YOU will become a natural with women when that happens.
Now, again, if you have key #1 and key #2 handled, then it’s easier to put attraction and relationship skills to use in real life so you can get the experience with them that you need. However, at some point, you just have to use courage and GO FOR IT. Believe in the principles, believe in yourself, and DO IT.
There’s no secret to this one: just doing what you learn is the best thing to do in a certain situation over and over and over again. Then, at a certain point, that behavior becomes automatic. And that’s when you can really relax, be “yourself,” and have fun when you’re with a woman. That’s why I recommend going on 100 coffee dates with any woman who will agree if you need to: you have to find a way to get all of this stuff down in real life situations.
Until then, however, it might be uncomfortable for a while. <==This “valley of discomfort” is why most people DO NOT reach the “mountain of success.” You have to go “down” first, risk being a “fool,” etc. in order to go way up. It’s your call if you want to endure this period or not. The only thing I can say is that I know the rewards on the other side are well worth it. =)